Many treatments for individuals who have a problem with alcohol and other drugs will include the partner in some way. Research has shown that involving partners in the treatment at some point can be very important in helping the treatment succeed. It is also very important that the problems in the relationship be treated; these problems do not go away because the drinking or drug use has stopped. Many couples are both surprised and disappointed that they continue to have many fights and arguments after the substance abuse has stopped. That is likely to mean that drinking and drug use will need to stop and the problems in the relationship will need to be identified and addressed. If you or your partner are showing signs of having a problem with drugs or alcohol and there are problems in the relationship, it is common to hope these things will take care of themselves over time.
They’ll also care that you’re actively working on your recovery. Sharing the times when you’re going to an AA meeting or making progress in your 12 Step Program can renew your partner’s faith that you’re truly going to get and stay sober. It’s an old adage that communication is vital in marriage anyway, and that’s especially true when one or both partners are recovering addicts. The important point here is substance abuse by a partner causes damage to the marriage or relationship and these problems need to be treated, too. If the issues in the relationship are not treated, they can set the stage for continued conflict and, in turn, relapse to drinking or drug use.
Can Marriage Survive Sobriety—What It Looks Like in the Long Term
Journaling can help you process your emotions without hurting your spouse or causing an unnecessary argument. After addiction, broken trust is likely to be the biggest obstacle to overcome in your marriage. For the recovering addict, this means absolute honesty is essential. If you continue to lie to or mislead your spouse, trust can never be regained.
There was a limit to his vulnerability though he longed for mine. I experienced it as his fear that I would not love him if I really knew him. This puzzled me as I had repeatedly been present to him.
I’m Sober and My Spouse Is Not: Will Our Marriage Work?
Sit down and define exactly what you both expect from each other, and what your boundaries are. This will set you up for success and avoid future pain and conflict. A divorce after sobriety relationship with a recovering alcoholic does not necessarily need to change in a major way – remember that your partner is the same person they have always been.
- But note that repairing your marriage may be a challenge, especially while you’re continuing on your path to recovery.
- It is vital for couples to have outside support during this time.
- Instead, you can vent and navigate your emotions in a personal journal.
- Substance abuse can create a rift between spouses, causing trust issues, communication breakdowns, and financial strain.
- When we aren’t posting here, we build programs to help people quit drinking.
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